MARCH 7, 2008 - VOL. 1, ISSUE 5

When I was 16, I started collecting records, usually finding a batch at a library sale or a local estate sale. On a whim, I purchased a series of 78s called "The Sounds of Hawaii." The collection was put together in the early 40s and, much to my dismay, sounded nothing like Hawaii. It's a bunch of white guys playing ukuleles and sucking all of the life and spirit out of Hawaiian culture. I was disgusted — it was only acceptable when performed by white men, just like Little Richard's disdainful loss to Pat Boone.

It's plain to see: whenever an American industry sees profit in another culture (think Taco Bell), they capitalize on it. However, they also cut out the people within the culture, replacing them with white Americans (again, think Taco Bell). This trend is blatantly clear in The Pirate, which capitalized on the appeal of the Caribbean to Americans.

The Pirate is a musical from the late 1940s starring Judy Garland and Gene Kelly, two all-time superstars of the film industry. The soundtrack is comprised of original work by the legendary Cole Porter — although it is obviously some of the worst music he ever wrote. The film was directed by Vincente Minnelli, Garland's husband and father of the just-born Liza Minnelli.

Manuela, played by Garland, is a wealthy, well-to-do West Indies girl who is prearranged to marry the old, greasy and fat mayor of the town. She is fine with it, but she romanticizes and fantasizes about pirates all the time. Serafin, played by Kelly, is a vagabond actor who catches her eye and tries to seduce her. Manuela doesn’t buy it and ignores his petty advances.

During Serafin's performance, he hypnotizes her and she reveals her love of pirates. She proceeds to sing about Macoco, the pirate of her dreams, and she captivates the audience with her song and dance. Awoken from her trance and embarrassed, she runs away, only to be followed by the vagabond.

In a hilarious twist (and I'll keep this brief), the vagabond discovers that her fiancé is not only the respectable mayor, but also the infamous Macoco. So one thing leads to another and people think Serafin is actually Macoco, and Manuela romanticizes him, and then the government threatens to kill Serafin. Then Serafin fools everybody, and everybody finds out that the mayor is actually Macoco. Garland and Kelly become traveling clowns and fall in love, living happily ever after.

On the surface, none of this seems very nativist. However, the film is disrespectful to the Caribbean natives, women, and any non-white actor. There were only a handful of black people in the film, nearly every one playing peasants, executioners, shoe shiners, or clowns.

The movie depicts two Caribbean villages populated by oceans of white people. The scenery is obviously a poorly constructed Hollywood set and gives no feel of the Caribbean — the clouds in the sky look oddly still and the paint is oddly fresh. The dance numbers don't really show anything of pirate or Caribbean culture — just Gene Kelly doing his usual shtick in a pair of hot pants (although it's still pretty impressive).

In a particularly insulting song where Gene Kelly's mustachioed character refers to every Caribbean lady as "Nina," he goes from woman to woman, unable to stop because the next is more attractive than the last. He judges every woman by her appearance and ogles at legs and asses, shying away from the "uglier" women. Even more insulting, though, is that each "Caribbean" woman is a buxom blonde white lady who looks as if she just left Los Angeles. It's like Hollywood wanted to depict all of the mystique and mythology of pirates in the West Indies, only with "more attractive" women. If Judy Garland is a Caribbean beauty, then David Gest is an elderly black woman. Hollywood sexism in action — but hey, it sells tickets, right?

I don't claim to be an expert on the culture and time period discussed in the film, even though the specific area and year are never discussed, but it's clear that no research was done regarding culture at all. It would be like making a film about Mexican culture, but all we knew about Mexicans is that they are perceived to be avid burrito enthusiasts who wear sombreros and mustaches, and then film the movie in Vancouver.

Regardless, these things didn't matter at the time. It would be ridiculous to call this film nativist and hold 1940s Hollywood to today's standards; it's like telling John Wayne to be more respectful to his female counterparts. Of course it's wrong, but it's just how things were. I'm only pointing out the nativist tendencies of the film to show the status quo mindset of that point in time. Americans wanted to be entertained, not lectured. Who cares about what the story would really be between two people in love at that time? Besides, would they really want to see the main actors be of any descent other than their own? The people didn't want realism; they wanted a feel good romantic comedy starring two big stars. They wanted a happy ending and an easily digestible soundtrack, although I still attest that it's unbearably bad, and that's what they got — the movie could have ended tragically, with Manuela living a boring, unproductive life.

In all, Garland and Kelly are what make the film entertaining on the surface level. Their performances almost make up for the lack of decent scenery, the awful soundtrack, and the cheesy dances. Both Kelly and Garland were exceedingly funny and performed some of the best slapstick comedy in film history. In one incredible scene, Garland flings pottery at Kelly's head while he ducks and attempts to get in her good graces. The movie isn't bad, but it's far from being sincere regarding any culture other than the American way. Besides, as far as musicals go, I still highly prefer Singin' in the Rain; it's just put together with a little more care.

The Pirate isn't a film about a Caribbean romance. It's about how a guy likes girl, the girl doesn't like the guy, then the girl gets to know the guy, and finally the girl likes the guy. Add as many foreign adjectives as you like — the movie is an American love story; as far as Hollywood is concerned, it's also about the love of American money. The movie captures nothing of the West Indies and shows only a hollow, Hollywood gloss of a romantic scenario, putting it in the sun instead of the rainy city.

I'm not saying that anyone in Hollywood was xenophobic for casting Kelly instead of a foreign guy. Obviously that wouldn't have made any money. But that's just it, America wouldn't have paid money for a non-white romantic interest, and that's where the problem lies. The country was too nativist to consider something like that, especially following World War II. The country has gotten better as time has passed, but nativism hasn't disappeared.

The theme of America deconstructing another culture goes farther than Taco Bell or "Hawaiian" 78s. Look at the frightening expansion of gentrification in America. With an increased number of the white upper Middle Class moving to poor, diverse neighborhoods to "make them better," the next generation will see a rich and unique culture get paved over by Wal-Mart and Starbucks. The local Middle Eastern bakery will be pushed over by the American version of the same thing. Why? Because when the upper Middle Class takes over, it will be "more efficient" or "cleaner" or "safer."

Unfortunately, no culture (other than the selfish Western one) is safe from white America's policy of "protecting and celebrating traditional cultures." And what is the American tradition? Happy endings, Gene Kelly, and leggy blonde women.